I am not known for my great sense of timing.

Well, not in some areas of life, anyway.

I came out with my Second Life handle in the recent column and then immediately took off to the country to play with horsies and didn’t touch the internet, much less SL, for a couple of days.

Thanks everyone for the emails and the messages — I’ll be catching up this week! Or trying to! LOL

I should be working on the column. Instead, I took time out for a silly online quiz.

Ulp.

The Maid of Honor Deliberate Gentle Love Master (DGLM) Appreciated for your kindness and envied for all your experience, you are The Maid of Honor. Charismatic, affectionate, and terrific in relationships, you are what many guys would call a “perfect catch”–and you probably have many admirers, each wishing to capture your long-term love. You’re careful, extra careful, because the last thing you want is to hurt anyone. Especially some poor boy whose only crime was liking you. Your exact female opposite: Half-Cocked Random Brutal Sex Dreamer We’ve deduced you’re fully capable of a dirty fling, but you do feel that post-coital attachment after hooking up. So, conscientious person that you are, you do your best to reserve physical affection for those you respect…so you can respect yourself. Your biggest negative is the byproduct of your careful nature: indecision. You’re just as slow rejecting someone as you are accepting them. ALWAYS AVOID: The False Messiah (DBLM), The 5-Night Stand (DBSM), The Vapor Trail (RBLM), The Bachelor (DGSM) CONSIDER: The Gentleman (DGLM), someone just like you. Link: The Online Dating Persona Test @ OkCupid - free online dating.

And now back to my regularly scheduled panic — er, writing session.

A bit of Sunday fun (so when is brunch, again?)

Cooking With Viagra
The world’s most delicious recipes featuring Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, and other popular erectile dysfunction drugs.

“Cooking with Viagra” is for the woman who wants to get her man in the mood, and keep him that way for 4-8 hours, or until she needs to phone an ambulance.

Recipes:

Cocktails
Magical elixirs, love potions

Condom-ents
Appetizers and side dishes

Meats
The main course

Happy Endings
Desserts and pillow talk

Old Bones
Recipes for the elderly

This week’s Sex Drive column:

Master’s Student Demonstrates Thesis Project in Her Underwear
I’ve noticed a wonderful trend happening at universities these past few years: projects that integrate sex and technology in innovative ways to improve human health and well-being.

Students interested in how technology and sexuality fit together — who take technology’s role in sexual development for granted — are naturally drawn to fields like interactive telecommunications, human-computer interaction and affective computing. It’s a multidisciplinary movement that inspires collaboration among engineers, artists, psychologists and sociologists — and in these studies, sex comes first. Tech is merely a catalyst.

Continued…

Past Sex Drives

Sex Drive column RSS feed

Hey thanks Christy Canyon NSFW and Ginger Lynn NSFW for inviting me to Nightcalls Radio NSFW tonight — what a great conversation. And I thought your central question was so interesting, I need to repeat it here:

Should we raise the minimum porn age from 18 to 21?

Not to buy it, but to perform in it.

What do y’all think? At 18 you can be a soldier, vote in elections, and perform in adult content — but you can’t buy a drink, and you’ve got another 5 or 7 years before you can rent a car without an older co-signer.

Are you mature enough at 18 to keep yourself safe and sane in the adult industry? And what if it doesn’t work out and you’re not one of the 20 names that truly are “stars” - at 18, can you have a good, solid backup plan?

I wonder if they will be able to sustain this for long, given the corrupting nature of the internet:

Iran moves to execute porn stars - CNN.com
EHRAN, Iran (AP) — Iran’s parliament on Wednesday voted in favor of a bill that could lead to death penalty for persons convicted of working in the production of pornographic movies.

With a 148-5 vote in favor and four abstentions, lawmakers present at the Wednesday session of the 290-seat parliament approved that “producers of pornographic works and main elements in their production are considered corruptors of the world and could be sentenced to punishment as corruptors of the world.”

The term, “corruptor of the world” is taken from the Quran, the Muslims’ holy book, and ranks among the highest on the scale of an individual’s criminal offenses. Under Iran’s Islamic Penal Code, it carries a death penalty.

The “main elements” refered to in the draft include producers, directors, cameramen and actors involved in making a pornographic video.

On the other hand, maybe we’ve just found some common ground for the Bush Administration and Iranian leaders, a place of unity or agreement where they can start to talk.

Honestly, if making a sex video gives me the power to corrupt the whole world (and not just the children!), what else might I accomplish with a little effort and a decent camera?

Considering how much effort it takes to get anywhere in Second Life, it amazes me that people have the gall to complain about offensive material. “Mature” areas are off-limits by default: you have to check the box to allow yourself to search for them. You need coordinates to teleport there or the patience to walk or fly your avatar around from the g-rated welcome areas to something more risque. (I don’t get enough time there to know if you even can walk to explicit neighborhoods without first changing a setting to grant access to adult content.) Second Life doesn’t allow children or teens — teenagers have their own grid — so every resident has taken the oath that they are at least 18.

I wonder if the recent shenanigans have pushed former residents and curious newbies toward Red Light Center NSFW instead?

Kink.com wants to trademark “fuckingmachines.com” but can’t, because a 1905 law prohibits issuing trademarks for naughty words.

The attorney’s meditations on the word ‘fuck’ didn’t win the court over, but it made me smile:

AVN :: Articles - Patent Office Refuses Porn Site Trademark Due To ‘Obscenity’ NSFW
“The Applicant respectfully challenges this characterization of the word ‘fucking’ and its allegedly ‘offensive and vulgar’ root: ‘fuck,’” Randazza wrote. “[T]his much maligned four-letter word has no intrinsic meaning. Fuck [can] play a role as a figurative term, for example, ‘to fuck’ can also mean ‘to deceive.’ It is a word of force that can assist us in our expressions of joy when used as an infix, as in ‘abso-fucking-lutely’. ‘Fuck’ helps us express rage when we scream ‘fuck you’ at a football referee, or at a motorist who has just cut us off in traffic. ‘Fuck’ can help us express pain, as it is quite frequently the first thing out of most men’s mouths when they strike their thumb (accidentally) with a hammer. ‘Fuck’ is a vehicle for our disappointment, when we see that our report card is not as good as we had hoped, or when our significant other is late for dinner, or leaves us altogether. ‘Fuck’ is an old friend, who can always make us laugh.”

It also made me sad because once again, it shows how we have to take the sex out of something to make it legitimate.

Points on for use of ‘infix’ though.

I ran across this at Annie Sprinkle’s site and found it very interesting:

MY COVERSATION WITH AN AN ANTI-PORN FEMINIST
By Annie Sprinkle with Mae Tyme
We are two women from different worlds with very different experiences. I, Annie, have performed in, directed and produced pornography for twenty five years. Mae Tyme has been anti-pornography for equally as long. We met at a lesbian video night several years ago. You might think that we’d be enemies, because we have such different viewpoints. Could we come together to record a conversation, share our ideas, and show that women of desparate backgrounds and beliefs can communicate and collaborate?

Annie: Don’t you think it’s so totally interesting to see people naked, or to watch them having sex?

Mae Tyme: I used to play a game as a kid called Peeping Tom in my suburban neighborhood. I was forever peeking into people’s windows. I hoped I would see somebody naked. I never did. It wasn’t a sexual kind of thing, it was curiosity. All I saw was women cooking and doing dishes, and men watching TV or working in their garages.

A: I don’t remember seeing any adults naked until I was 17, and saw my boyfriend. After that I was hooked. I wanted to see naked people all the time. I was instantly fascinated by genitalia. Here was an entire secret universe!

A year later I ended up in pornography and prostitution. I’m still busy looking at genitalia.

(continued…)

When Annie and Mae talk about whether women in porn are victims and Annie says that they don’t want to be perceived as victims, all I can think of is that women like Mae who have such strong feelings against men are more “victim” than porn performers. And I don’t feel called upon to change or (heavens forfend!) “save” them, but I do feel sorrow that they miss out on half the human race, and that their experiences must have been truly dreadful to write off an entire sex as unnecessary to their lives.

I remember one such woman telling me that until her nephew was born, she saw no point in men at all other than as sperm donors to create more daughters. But she loved her nephew — who had just turned 4 at the time of this conversation — and he rocked her worldview every day.

People are interesting, aren’t we?

I’ve been trying to keep my mind open and my mouth shut on the latest kerfluffle over Linden Labs stepping into a content minefield, figuring I’d have to write a column about it sooner or later and wanting to know everything I could about it before I got started.

But intellectual property lawyer Benjamin Duranske beat me to it, and now if Wired demands a column from me on the subject, I can simply write “yeah, what he said” and link to this:

Policing Content is a Very Bad Idea
Linden Lab’s ‘Daniel Linden’ recently posted a statement entitled “Keeping Second Life Safe, Together” on the Official Linden Blog. The post encourages Second Life residents to report “broadly offensive” content to Linden Lab, and promises that people promoting or providing such content will be “swiftly met with a variety of sanctions, including termination of accounts, closure of groups, removal of content, and loss of land.”

[snip]

I’ll add my voice to the growing chorus. This is a poorly considered, dangerously over-broad, and annoyingly opaque policy statement. It should be reversed for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that it potentially takes Linden Lab out from under the protection of Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, and thereby exposes it to liability for Second Life users’ creations.

More on that later on. There’s this soapbox sitting here, you see, and one of the privileges of editing VB is that occasionally I get to climb up on it.

The soapbox is worth reading, but the legal points at the end are a must. Thanks Benjamin, and good luck with that novel.

I learned about a new-to-me STI today when I finally caught up on my RSS feeds, from a Reuters story on MSNBC. The story is that this STI, Mycoplasma genitalium (which we’ve known about since the ’80s but which I’ve not heard of as far as I know), is now more prevalent in U.S. young adults than Neisseria gonorrhea.

Fine.

But look at this:

The prevalence of Mycoplasma genitalium infection was 11 times higher among individuals living with a sexual partner, seven times higher among blacks and four times higher among those who use condoms during sex.

First question: Seven times higher among blacks than among whom? The average of all non-blacks? Hispanics? Asian-Irish Italians? I’m going to guess that the unspoken comparison here is to whites. I see this kind of writing all the time and marvel at the racism behind it; the assumption that “white” is the norm against which all other racial or ethnic groups are compared and therefore it is not necessary to mention whites.

Second question: If this organism was identified in the ’80s and is four times more common among condom users than among others, perhaps we could look at the possibility that a standard condom ingredient is a culprit? The disease inflames the urethra in men and the cervix and uterine lining in women, although most people don’t show symptoms. Given what a latex condom does to my delicate skin, I am not surprised that condom users have more irritation and therefore are more susceptible to bacteria settling in.

You can treat it with antibiotics, so if you suspect you have it (listen up, cohabitators who think you have a UTI that doesn’t go away!) get thee to a clinic for a test.

Well, good:

TheDay.com - Substitute Teacher Gets New Trial on Porn Charges

A New London Superior court judge this morning overturned the conviction of Julie Amero, who was found guilty of exposing Norwich schoolchildren to pornography on a computer, and has granted Amero a new trial.

Blogrolling.com creator Jason P. DeFillippo is clearing out a bunch of domains, some of which I like (sexualdiary.com) and some of which are so obvious I’m surprised they were never used (fluffgirls.com, skinsville,com, twatbot.com, pinkslut.com).

If you buy one, let me know what you do with it.

Jason P. DeFillippo : Adult Domains For Sale

I keep getting emails from people saying they can’t find the Sex Drive column anymore, so here’s a quick ‘n’ handy link list:

Sex Drive @ Wired

Sex Drive RSS Feed

And many thanks to all the efforts you’re making to find it, and for letting me know that you want to keep reading. I want to keep writing and it’s no fun without you!

While I’m at it, here’s a direct link to the forum:

Sex Drive Forum (an adults-only Yahoo Group)

Cheri Horton reports:

PixelPulse: LL reportedly faces suit by moralist group
A European parent-teacher group called Familles de France is apparently suing Linden Lab to prevent minors from signing up for Second Life, saying the grid contains “pornographic photos and videos in free access [where] users can mimick (sic) sexual acts, going as far as rape scenes, bondage, zoophilia and scatophilia,” according to a report on GamePolitics.com. A court hearing is set for June 18, the site states.

Thing is, Linden Lab already is taking action in this regard via its planned age and identity verification system, although it seems to be debatable as to whether there’s really a foolproof method of preventing minors from accessing the adult grid. One way of closing the gap (and shifting some of the blame where it belongs) would entail parents and other family members doing a better job monitoring kids’ activities on the Web.

Sometimes I wish people would just step back and let things develop before they panic and fight and sue and interfere. Imagine how much better Second Life would be - performance, UI, features, etc - if the company didn’t have to keep defending itself against stupid stuff?

Did the Web go through all this when we were building it in the early 90s? I can’t remember — was too busy building, not paying attention to the fearmongering — but I don’t think so. What is it about the evolution of a new platform that frightens people so? Well, sex, obviously. Oh, and tech.

But there are such better ways of dealing with all that than what people have been doing. Argh.

Anyway. Better get back to what I’m writing about this week before my brain jumps too far off track.