Yesterday, I should have blogged the news about California Supreme Court’s decision to legalize same-sex marriage (at least until November, when our huge socially conservative voting contingent could surge forward and squelch it).

Why the California Supreme Court Did More Than Legalize Gay Marriage

I of course see the huge importance of ’social media’ in this decision, even before we called it social media. So many ways to connect activists with the groups they represent, to share news and contacts instantly, to encourage people to come out of the closet in a low-pressure environment online and then follow up offline … well, it’s obvious to Sex Drive readers all the ways in which Technology Made This Happen.

But.

I had my day job all day. I am in the midst of grueling Relationship Discussions and have been for more than a year, and yesterday was intense. Jedi’s blood work follow-up showed that not only did his elevated enzymes not go down, they went up just a little — he’s at 303% of the highest end of normal/healthy, which means his liver is under a lot of stress. Next step is a urine sample (you should see how tiny the vials are that they gave me to collect it in!) And then in the evening when I put the day job to bed and called up the blog window, I had one of those IF I DON’T GET OFF THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW I’M GOING TO DIE moments.

So I went to the barn, where I discovered that Rockstar’s eyes were running like a toddler’s nose, thanks to the construction next door and all the irritants and allergens it kicks up.

In other words, it was a typical day. But I trusted that you saw the news about the California same-sex marriage unbanning elsewhere and weren’t relying on me as your primary source.

And how y’all keep up with day jobs, families, sex writing and blogging … hats off to you. LOL!

Life will find a way? Online Dating Insider notes (Saudi Singles Resort to BlueTooth Belts) that young Islamic people are coming up with ways to sneak their phone numbers to one another, to share texts and pictures. The NY Times has a feature (Love on Girls’ Side of the Saudi Divide) about what it’s like from the girl’s point of view — and how the young women are cross-dressing as men to enter male-only spaces and take pictures of themselves doing so, to show other girls. How young men are holding their phone numbers up toward cars they believe contain women, and broadcasting their numbres over Bluetooth. And what happens when a woman switches on her Bluetooth:

A woman can’t switch her phone’s Bluetooth feature on in a public place without receiving a barrage of the love poems and photos of flowers and small children which many Saudi men keep stored on their phones for purposes of flirtation. And last year, Al Arabiya television reported that some young Saudis have started buying special “electronic belts,” which use Bluetooth technology to discreetly beam the wearer’s cellphone number and e-mail address at passing members of the opposite sex

It has very, very recently become acceptable in some families for a woman to talk on the phone with her fiancee before the wedding. Young women are also debating whether it’s ok to have male friends on Facebook.

Naturally most of the young women won’t admit to doing any of these things, and claim they don’t know any other women who do. Wouldn’t want anyone to get in trouble, especially considering just how real that trouble would be for them. At the same time, this infiltration of technology and the ingenuity of young people is bound to crack the rigid structure. I catch my breath thinking about what these youth risk — but also at what they can change, one clandestine text message at a time.

From blog comment to friends-with-benefits to love, Amber Rhea celebrates her third anniversary with Rusty in this tribute to sex-tech.

Happy anniversary you guys!

Cory, the Sexuality Guide at About.com and one of the most highly respected sex educators in North America, reviewed Sexier Sex and included a Q&A with me:
Regina Lynn Offers Lessons from the Brave New Sexual Frontier

I really liked this part of our interview:

How did your writing change?

My Wired News editors get nervous if I start talking about ‘relationships,’ but I can say ’social networking’ or ’social media’ or ‘web 2.0′ to mean the same thing. But in the book, why, I could accept that people (including men!) have relationships, I could write about the full range of what sex means, from playful romp to Deep Meaningful Affirmation of Love and Commitment. No matter where you identify yourself genderwise, those are universal themes — but a tech-culture publication like Wired.com doesn’t want to stray too far into ‘women’s magazine’ territory. It’s all semantics, and rather hilarious when you think about it.

Thank you, Cory. I feel tremendously validated.

On today’s Sex in the News segment of Playboy Radio’s Afternoon Advice with Tiffany Granath, we discussed:

Woman breaks into prison to have sex with husband. They caught her on her way out and moved the husband to a higher security facility. But no one tattled while she was in his cell!

Police officer fired for appearing in an adult film about dominatrix cop while in uniform. She’s okay with it though, noting that several producers have contacted her with other roles now that they’ve seen her acting debut.

Man moons speed camera. It’s not a criminal offense, but he might be charged with not wearing his seatbelt.

Ace called in to say that he loves the sex news (w00t!) and to relate a story about a woman giving him a little show while he was driving his truck outside of Atlanta. Let’s hear it for black dresses and white panties.

Tiffany mentioned my t-shirt so I got to plug savethetatas.com.

You don’t have to live in a big city and attend a Masturbate-a-Thon in person in order to celebrate masturbation month and raise funds for good, sex-positive causes. The Center for Sex and Culture has a home-based aspect as well. (Darklady will be on the show later this month to talk about her world-famous Burlesque-a-thon Masturbate-a-thon, but you can get a head start here. Portland, you are so lucky!)

Tiffany mentioned a panty run for charity on a college campus, I think in Arizona, where all the athletes started out fully dressed but flung their clothing off as they went and crossed the finish line in undies. All clothing was gathered and presumably laundered before being donated to charity.

The U.K. reports a rise in middle-aged men not being interested in sex — but where normal people would say “sex” they say “sex with their partners.” Does this imply they’re into solo sex? Why not just say “sex” if they mean diminished libido?

In New Jersey, a guy stripped to socks and cell phone headset last year and jacked off in a parking lot. Now a woman is suing him for inflicting emotional distress on her, because she witnessed this activity. And, you know, was forced, at gunpoint, to witness it, because she had no other choice, like walking away, or averting her eyes, or shouting “hey you, put that thing away before somebody gets hurt!”

Rich called to talk to us and ask what the woman hopes to gain from the lawsuit. It’s a good point — if the man can’t afford clothes but has a headset for his cell phone, what are we to think?

Heather Mills turns down 100,000 (GBP) offer to be the spokesmodel for a chain of English sex shops. The story is mildly interesting, but it taught me that Tiffany Granath detests Heather Mills. And I admitted to having a Judgment of my own, which is that people who use Stuff just to punish other people (such as in a divorce settlement) are not people I want to be around, at all, for any reason.

One of the show producers, “Dirty Marie,” admitted on air to using a vibrator in her car to prevent road rage.

And finally, a sad, disturbing tale from France: a woman took advantage of her lover’s unconsciousness and castrated him — then blamed it on the dog. She’s in jail, he’s in psychiatric care, and no one seems to know what the dog is doing.

Oh please let this be a sign of things changing for the better. (What did Mr. Jones say about the tabloids? Best investigative reporting on the planet?)

‘Sex’ tutor Sarah Green in job win

A teacher suspended from a private school after pupils spotted her in a raunchy video is to get her job back.

Sarah Green was sent home in January after the clip was put on internet site YouTube.

The advert for labourers’ clothes saw her simulate sex with a workman and about to give oral sex to another.

It was made while the 25-year-old was a student before she started work as an English teacher at Stockport Grammar School in Manchester in 2006.

Head Andrew Chicken said a disciplinary panel recommended she return. He added: “It’s been a difficult matter.”

What gets me is that it was a clothing commercial, which presumably ran on television. Somehow that gives a different slant to the story than a homemade sex tape. Not that I think we should be fired for our homemade sex tapes. What if another teacher were in an advertisement or a tv show smoking and drinking? Would they be fired for being a bad example? At least sex is good for you.

Shameless Self Promotion

Sex and Nudity Aren’t Good Reasons to Fire Someone

Teachers Should Blog, Tweet and Flirt Online Like the Rest of Us

Protect the Children From Porn

(See, I’ve noticed that I have an archive of 250ish columns, and many of them have pretty much gone invisible unless you know exactly what to search for. I thought perhaps it would make sense to link to them when I blog, in case you want to read them. My feelings aren’t hurt if you don’t want to, though. )

Reading along through the first part of this article, you get the idea that it was translated from Japanese. Then you read the midpoint and you think … uh-oh, does the translator know how these particular words and phrases impact Americans?

It’s a story about sexual services for middle-aged Japanese men trying to get fit, now that the government requires regular tests of fat percentage and blood pressure. And it shifts from informal news reporting:

The middle-aged spread, reports Asahi Geino (4/24), has given rise to a completely new type of sex business: the “Datsu-metabo fuuzoku” — sex shops with services designed to help pudgy, middle-aged men bang their way back to health and enjoy themselves in the bargain

to this:

As he issues pathetic moans, she cajoles his vas deferens into discharging a jet of jism that jumps past his pectorals and reaches all the way to his chin.

It’s hilarious. Read the whole gem here:

New sex services hold out a healthy helping hand to halt those mean metabolic blues

As one friend says: “I’ve reread it three times, and really want to never have known that people were that fucked up.”

I keep starting and then deleting lists of what’s wrong with this story, because it’s too much to type, and besides, you can see it for yourself. I find myself hoping against hope that it’s a hoax … but sometimes, reality is Ralph.

Was woman raped on telephone?

TUNIS, Tunisia, April 27 (UPI) — A Tunisian family alleges their daughter was raped during a telephone conversation with a man, a lawyer for the family said.

The 30-year-old man said he never touched the young woman. But he acknowledged he heard her scream while they were “totally into” an erotic telephone conversation — and that she reported bleeding, Al Arabiya reported.

Maha al-Metebaa, a lawyer representing the family, told the Kuwaiti newspaper Al-Qabs the case needs careful investigation because of its unprecedented allegations. He said a medical examination had determined that the woman, 20, was no longer a virgin.

“The intercourse did take place with all its details but verbally only,” he said. “The sexual act did not really happen because the physical proximity factor is not there, yet it happened because there is a direct physical impact – the loss of virginity.”

Motherhood is beautiful and moms are sexy. (Mine’s a dead ringer for Sophia Loren!) And yet, this promotion associating MILF porn with Mother’s Day gives me the willies.

Read More »

Australia just approved an erection drug for daily use so that men can get hard-ons without planning ahead.

Daily sex pill to revive spontaneity

[snip]

Professor Doug Lording, an andrologist at Melbourne’s Cabrini Hospital, backs the drug saying continuous 24/7 coverage promotes a more “real” sexual experience.

“This is an important new option for men with ED because it separates the pill from the pillow, which can give them back a more natural sexual experience with flow-on benefits to their overall wellbeing,” Prof Lording said.

The consumer support group, Impotence Australia, welcomes the drug’s approval, with chief executive Brett McCann saying ED has a definite impact on Australians’ ability to enjoy spontaneous sex.

An industry-funded Galaxy poll of 800 Australians released at the launch found 74 per cent of men rated spontaneity an important part of sex.

Almost 90 per cent of Aussie women said they preferred spontaneous sex over planned intimacy - a good insight for men, as the survey showed that taking advantage of unscheduled opportunities increases their chances of having sex.

If you can’t afford the $190AU (about $180 US) per 24 pills, all is not lost. Read Scheduling Sex Is Sizzling Hot for another perspective.

It’s official! I’m going to be the Tuesday “Sex in the News” person on Playboy Radio’s Afternoon Advice with Tiffany Granath. I start this Tuesday, 4/29, and the segment runs from 11am to 11:30am Pacific time on Sirius Radio channel 198.

When I was little I always wanted to be the traffic reporter on the radio, and radio has always been a favorite medium of mine. Tiffany is an amazing host and she brings out the best in me. I’m so excited, I was afraid to blog it in case it popped the dream bubble and they changed their minds….

I don’t have all the details yet. My plan is to have my assistant (heh, I live in Los Angeles, I’m required by law to have an Assistant) take show notes to post here after the spot. And now I have a tax-deductible excuse to get satellite radio, including Playboy.

PSA

Meanwhile … this is the last week of Carly Milne’s campaign to raise funds for the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network crisis hotline to offer 24-hour support online to anyone affected by rape or incest. I think this is particularly important for us in the sex-tech space, given the numbers of us who turn to the internet to help us heal from such trauma. You can donate by credit card or PayPal, and all contributions are matched dollar-for-dollar in the month of April. Include “GBBMC:08″ in the “in honor of” field if you want your contribution to count for Carly’s campaign; I actually forgot to do that when I made my donation.

How to use particular toys, how to prepare your body for a blow job, how to perform that blow job he prepared for … find these tips and more at Freddy and Eddy’s Wonder How To collection for grown-ups.

I like that they’re focusing on specific toys as well as providing the usual basics. The Tuyo vibrating ball doesn’t work on me as a clitoral vibrator; it vibrates too high-frequency, I think, though it feels wonderful in the hand. But I hadn’t thought about rolling it around my neck and shoulders (how kinky is THAT, a vibrator on a sore muscle? crazy talk!) or about rolling it around inner thighs, backs of knees, inner elbows. I think the one time I used it with a partner we ended up tossing it aside and grabbing the Hitachi instead; now there’s a way to introduce a man to his first vibrator experience!

I like Freddy and Eddy’s approach to sex ed, and their focus on couples, too, since most of us do want to share sex with another person. One of these days someone needs to gather all the sex educator videos into one place - I mean the links - because I think all the major brands are doing it (Good Vibes, Babeland, etc) and I know a lot of indies are too.

I’m a guest on ‘Afternoon Advice’ with Tiffany Granath tomorrow around 11:40 a.m. Pacific Daylight Time. Playboy Radio is on Sirius channel 198.

Ostensibly, I’m there to talk about Sexier Sex (did I mention it’s on sale now, and only about $10 on Amazon?) but I’ve hung out in studio with Tiffany before and you never know where things are going to go. However, you can be sure they will be interesting, funny, and respectful no matter how tongue-in-cheek (or elsewhere) we get.

It’s a call-in show so if you’re around, we’d love to hear from you!

When I see a headline like Teen Creates Chemistry Trading Card Game and immediately think “Oh, that must be cards you hand out to people you feel attracted to,” I know it’s time to get my head out of the sex-tech beat and read some other content for a change.

Good thing I have a day job to reset my mind after Sex 2.0. Someone somewhere is creating a list of photos, liveblog coverage, retrospectives and so on, which I’ll post here when I find it. Microversion: Great space, great sessions, great format, and next year we better make it two days so we have a chance to get to talk to everyone and go to more discussions. Also, I rounded out the day with the exotic dance workshop and learned how to lean back in a folding chair and scissor my legs, then slowly come up while making eye contact and not giggling. HOT.

There was a time when I spent not just all my working hours but almost all of my social hours online. (Not that there was much difference. I have hardly ever socialized online without working, even if just a little bit, on some story in another window.)

Then, eventually, that changed. I — and many of my online buddies, who started socializing online about the same time I did — began to spend more time away from the computer. I’m sure if a technophobe checked on me during that time they’d have thought I was ‘addicted’ and in need of intervention. Especially since my socializing took place primarily in adult chat rooms, instant messaging and the occasional trivia game. (Yeah, I was a hardcore IRC trivia gamer. I’m horrible at trivia but it was still fun.)

My experiences and observations and interviews and research into ‘internet addiction’ do not add up to a bonafide study…
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