According to E!, which would know, Lifestyles Condoms claims it has invited Miley Cyrus, of Hannah Montana fame, to be a spokesyouth for its safer-sex-to-young-people mission, in exchange for a million dollars and perhaps a lifetime supply of condoms after she turns 18. Miley’s publicist says they have received no such invitation.

What’s wrong with this picture? Surely if a 15-year-old celebrity is old enough to put a face on a safer sex message for her peers, she’s old enough to receive her free condoms already? But wait! That’s crazy talk! A corporation can’t hand out condoms to minors. Not directly. They can donate condoms to Programs which give them to minors and majors, and they do, and we thank them for it. I’m not a lawyer, not even on the internet, but I’m 96 percent certain it’s Not Okay to send free condoms to teenagers directly. Even if it’s legal, it’s not socially acceptable.

So what would Miley be able to say? “Practice safer sex. Oh, and you can get condoms when you’re 18. They keep telling us not to have sex until after that anyway, so I know, let’s not!”

The odd thing is, my gut reaction to the story is “Lifestyles should know better,” even though obviously a lot of us media types have fallen for the stunt and given it coverage. On the other hand, I think peer education and support is important for young people. Old people are always wanting youngsters to learn from our mistakes — but in some things that’s just not possible. The way you get to be a wise old person is to be an experimental young person, right? To paraphrase Dori in Finding Nemo: If you never let anything happen to you, then nothing’s ever going to happen to you! You just have to be a wise young person too and not do anything permanently harmful, even if you get short-term hurt.

Anyway. I think youth are better served by Scarleteen and the Midwest Teen Sex Show than by Hollywood celebrities, who, no matter how hard their down-home country daddys try to protect them, are pretty much required to go through a spastic scary wild period, exaggerated and provoked by gossip media, before a final stay in rehab finally works and they come to their senses.

Point being: Peer support works better when it’s actual peers, and not volatile celebrity lifestyle. Doesn’t it?