The G Ki g-spot vibrator hit the shelves about the same time the argument about the g-spot not existing hit the headlines. I missed most of the furor, though, as I was busy testing the G Ki instead of responding to bait like, “The controversial G-spot has no genetic component and therefore probably doesn’t exist,” and “King’s College researchers claim the spot — purported to be a cluster of 32 nerve endings like a female prostate gland — may be all in women’s heads.”
Actually, considering how many women have sex in their heads, the researchers might be on to something about where the g-spot really is. How often has a stray thought tossed you right out of sex? How often have you consciously directed your thoughts down a certain path to increase sexual sensation or pleasure? How many times has someone seduced you with words alone?
I have only reviewed a handful of sex toys in my articles, figuring that lots of people are specifically toy reviewers and my voice isn’t needed. But my beat has been the intersection of sex and technology, and occasionally a toy comes along that bespeaks a new direction or a particular innovation. I’ve highlighted a few of these, such as Je Joue’s original eponymous device and its successor, the SaSi.
Then…
The JeJoue was the first mainstream programmable clitoral massager, with nubs that mimicked finger or tongue motion instead of or in addition to vibration. You used software to create motion patterns you downloaded to the unit, so you or your lovers could customize the experience. Users could go online and share their patterns with other users. The general consensus was that women loved the feel of the device, but the programming was too much hassle.
Je Joue then came out with the SaSi, which had a similar nubby stimulator but scaled way back on the customizations. With the SaSi, you hold down a button for a pattern of movements that you like and hold a different button for a pattern that you don’t, and it remembers your preferences the next time. Not quite artificial intelligence, but not like anything else available, either.
…and Now; Or, the TMI Section
The G Ki is Je Joue’s attempt to make a toy that’s familiar and simpler and less expensive. It vibrates rather than strokes. All you can do is bend it into a couple of different U shapes in hopes that one will simultaneously hit your clit and your favorite internal spot (which may or may not be labeled G).
As vibrators go, I like it as a toy to use with partners, whether in person or online. The hands-free aspect of the toy and the necessity of fully engaging the brain for cybersex makes an effective pairing. Especially if you use a stability ball as your computer chair. (I’m just saying.)
The G Ki vibrating tip does have that clit-numbing effect that its cousin the SaSi does not; I couldn’t orgasm with the G Ki by itself. Your individual body and preferences are bound to be different from mine, so this may not be true for you. But during my solo tests, I had to grab the Eroscillator and keep the G Ki as merely an inside helper in order to get over the edge.
Yes But What Does It All Mean?
On a macro level, the G Ki is a bit of an eye-opener for me. That Je Joue had to backtrack yet another step to enter the sex toy mainstream boggles my mind. But at the 2010 AVN Adult Expo, the developers told me they chose to create the G Ki as a gateway to their more exotic wares.
The economy has something to do with it too – why spend an extra $50 to take a chance with the SaSi when you can get the G Ki for $99? Perhaps retailers are being more conservative with their stock for the same reason. Hitachi massagers, pocket rockets, and rabbit pearls are going to sell no matter what, so a high-tech upstart may need to create something familiar.
It’s a quality toy, with a lovely smooth surface, ergonomic controls, and a choice of four colors. And it’s deliberately less “techie” than the other Je Joue devices. Reading between the lines, I extrapolate that users aren’t quite ready to embrace the extra effort of the other toys even if it meant extra payoff.
As a person enthusiastic about drafting high tech into the service of sensual experience, I’m left bemused and somewhat adrift by this rejection of the more interactive devices, rudimentary as that interactivity is. But I do understand that when one is as busy as most people are, any extra effort may need to be reserved for one’s human partners.
In the aftermath of the Adult Entertainment Expo last weekend, one of the rumbles making its way through the bloglands is “are we sure we want to see porn in 3D?” Or, on the performers’ side, “I’m damn sure I don’t want to make porn in 3D! HD is bad enough!”
Objections range from the glasses the viewers would have to wear to the excruciating detail that’s possible to capture in high definition 3D video.
Have these folks not seen Avatar? No, I’m not saying that IMAX 3D and James Cameron’s budget should become the new porn standard. But I do think that Avatar used its 3D wisely, in ways that translate well to erotic film. Think of how the little flower-spores drifted around us when the soldier first met the warrior. (That’s all I’m going to say as it’s already a spoiler; you’ll have to see it and you’ll know what I mean.)
Take a porn scene on the edge of a swimming pool. Couldn’t you extend the deck into the 3D space, perhaps add a deck chair to the right of the viewer and a side table to his left? If there’s a splash, let some of the droplets flutter around him? Surround him with sound. Put him in the set, if not into the sexual performance, and don’t overdo it. If he’s alone and the scene is done well, he’s going to forget he’s wearing the glasses.
Besides, a lot of us have to wear glasses to watch video. You get used to them in about 10 minutes. Home-based 3D is improving all the time, and people are going to start demanding — and then purchasing — good, solid 3D glasses. And they will get used to wearing them.
Extend the idea further to the guys who have a Virtual Sex Machine or a Real Touch device. Both of these products add physical stimulation keyed to video, with the video often shot in first person, to give the illusion that you are the guy in the scene. This sounds like the perfect opportunity to experiment with 3D. You have a guy willing to deal with buying and setting up a sucking/stroking/warming/squeezing machine, willing to put himself into the action as best he can despite the crudity of the current state of the art. A subtle use of 3D is just the thing to extend his experience.
The challenge is convincing adult producers to do it right.
The Freudian Send can get you fired, but it could also get you dumped. Gmail has added a feature — in the Labs, not in full release yet — that tries to give you One More Chance to quintuple-check your recipients before you hit Send.
New in Labs: “Got the wrong Bob?”
Ever included Bob (your boss) instead of Bob (your friend) on an email by accident? Oops! Turn on “Got the wrong Bob?” and Gmail will check if you meant to include Bob Smith rather than Bob Jones based on the groups of people you email most often.
Of course Google can’t say “Ever included Bob (your boss) instead of Bob (online hottie in which you are engaging in a torrid, multimedia erotic extravaganza) on an email by accident?” but you know that’s what they mean.
One caveat: If you’ve ever tried to use Undo or Send Later or any other feature to help you send to the right person, you already know that it does not take long to get so used to the confirmation dialog that you end up clicking it by habit, thus preventing it from preventing you from doing something stupid.
In order for any of these life-saving tools to work, you have to meet them halfway by slowing down and reading the address or addresses in all of your To, CC, and BCC fields. Just like with sex, the technology cannot replace the human brain.
LoveHoney sent me a sample of this toy and it’s waiting for me at home. I’m on a business trip for my day job, so I don’t have first-hand experience to share with you yet.
It’s interesting and cute, a home version of the intimidating, industrial, and totally hot Chainsaw Masochist at fuckingmachines.com.
I’m annoyed by the marketing, though. I know it’s tongue-in-cheek (heh), but to claim that because this machine feels so good that “your boyfriend should be worried” just ticks me off. There is still too much worry about this ludicrous idea for me to find it funny. I’m not offended by it, I just think it’s an irksome way to go, and that it has the opposite effect of of the intention: selling the toy.
For one thing, if a man actually believes that and gets nervous or even prevents his partner from having sex toys, then both partners are deprived of a pleasurable exploration and also won’t buy the Sqweel. For another, this toy will work just as well (or not-well) on a man as on a women. It’s the vibration that makes vibrators so “meh” for a lot of men, not the fact that it’s a sex toy — don’t you think this might feel great on the head, shaft, scrotum, or perineum? Or even nipples?
Love Honey does recommend trying it on various areas, using it with partners, and that it is in actuality a machine for any and all sexes. Perhaps I’m just cranky because I’m traveling without a partner or a Sqweel to ease my tension. *evil grin*
Anyway. So far that’s my gripe as I haven’t actually used it yet. I have my testers — man and woman — lined up for the weekend of October 24th, after which I will share our thoughts on the subject right here in this very blog.
I have not been able to get a response from Sinulator folks by email or by phone, and have received a few emails in the past few months from other people who have experienced the same thing. Sinulator was a growing thing when I wrote The Sexual Revolution 2.0 but you know how it is with those tech start-ups, particularly SEX tech start-ups.
HighJoy is still around, however. I corresponded with them this week (had to resolve a billing issue, which they took care of promptly and courteously).
There’s also the Virtual Sex Machine if you don’t want the bother of finding an online partner first.
RealTouch appears to be going strong, but then, Sinulator hasn’t taken its website down either, so I’ll drop them an email and see what’s up. Like the Virtual Sex Machine, this one interacts with videos, not with humans on the other end of the internet.
Update: RealTouch is alive and well, and will be at the Exotic Erotic Ball in San Francisco on October 24th, as well as at next year’s Adult Entertainment Expo.
Anyone else who has some teledildonics stuff going, please give us an update and a link in the comments. My focus has been on consumer-friendly stuff that doesn’t require a whole lot of tech-savvy to figure out, but I know there’s a lot more geekdildonics out there than n00bdildonics….
This past Sunday was the 13-year anniversary of my first foray into adult chat. There was something special about that time and place, when the Web was just starting to bring the internet to the masses and new sexual fear-fodder to the media and we were just on the threshold of broadband.
When I joined that chat room it was an HTML page that refreshed every five seconds and showed the new posts in a batch, in different font colors. Then it upgraded to java and we could connect via IRC, which I did, for years. And then one day I just stopped. I didn’t need it anymore; the people I needed were securely in my life by other means. Others had faded away through natural attrition and the community shifted, adapting to the needs of the new group.
Because of that experience, between then and now I healed from childhood sexual distress (I don’t like the word “abuse” anymore, it has been … abused … too much). I left a marriage that wasn’t right for either of us; I had great love, and shattering heartbreak; I learned how to be enthusiastic and exuberant about sex; I wrote articles about sex-tech and then wrote a column about it for five years; I authored two books on the subject and had a regular spot on a radio show. I discovered the word “polyamory” and many puzzles from my past fell instantly into place.
Then I walked away.
Even now, a year after retiring the column, I get emails from people who want to share their stories of pain or triumph (often both) with me. I also get a lot of “Dear Abby” questions, to which I reply the best I can, with the caveat that I am not a relationship advice columnist and that most of the time people already know the answer but want validation or permission - or hope that the answer they know is right is actually wrong.
It’s been amazing. I’m focusing now on my “day job” work, my health, my loved ones, and my animals, but I think often about that chat room — the people, not the room itself — and the profound effects it had and continues to have on my life. And about all the people who reached out to me through their responses to the column, their sex-tech innovations and questions and opinions, their delight and wonder when they discovered new good things about themselves and their sexuality. It amazes me still that I got to be a part of your sexual journeys; you certainly have been a part of mine.
I am certain that such communities still exist today, perhaps in 3D platforms, perhaps in webcam rooms, perhaps even still on IRC. The tools have changed faster than people’s needs have changed, and I think Facebook and Twitter fill much the same need today that our chat room did for us: a touch of someone else’s life, a bit of humor, a bit of shared tragedy, a flirtatious comment, a sense of connection (and no, I’m not going to argue if it is ‘real’ or ‘valid’ or ‘disconnection masquerading as connection’ — that’s a matter of individual experience and impossible to generalize accurately).
Here’s a toast to everyone who knew Aphrodite (and I owe some of you apologies, too; all I can say is that I was learning, and trying, and doing the best I could do at the time, as were we all) and a fervent hope that the next 13 years will not be nearly as painful as the past 13. *wink*
In honor of today’s Adult Novelty Expo in Universal City, CA, I post this link to my History of Vibrators cover story in the final issue of Adult Novelty Business magazine (NSFW).
It’s long and requires a lot of clicking through because of the magazine layout, but use the zoom and stick with it and I think you’ll enjoy it. I think it’s one of the best features I’ve ever written.
I am enjoying my (semi) retirement on the horse ranch in the foothills, along with the freedom to pick and choose the sex writing assignments that interest me while juggling a few interesting technical communications contracts. I say semi because I’m being interviewed next Wednesday for CurrentTV Italy and I’m working on a few article pitches, but I am not trying to place Sex Drive anywhere or get back into a heavy speaking schedule or — heavens forfend — start a new book.
I’m devoting my free time to studying Parelli Natural Horsemanship, which has a surprising number of parallels with my take on sex and tech, and taking Jedi to our swimming hole on the South Yuba. As I get back into shape emotionally and spiritually, my mind and body are also regaining a measure of their former fitness. (Whew.)
I’m keeping an eye on sex-tech but no longer spending two hours a day following every story that pops up — most of which are the same story with new names — nor am I doing a lot of social media-ing this season other than my secret horse blog. (In which I’m averaging about 7,000 words a week plus photos, original sketches, and the occasional video, LOL. If you are interested I will send you the URL by email, but I don’t want to post it here.)
I feel like I’m writing one of those end-of-the-year holiday letters people either love or hate, so I’ll stop here. I hope you enjoy the vibrator history piece; come into the forum if you want to discuss it, as I have lots more research I could not squeeze into 3200 words. LOL
The new Sexier Sex Lessons blog is up and running and has a couple of months of content now, so it’s ready for you to check it out.
It’s a simple blog: one mini-lesson every Wednesday, either excerpted from the book or brand spankin’ new. I’m trying to keep the posts short enough to scan through in a minute and long enough to have something useful to share.
its been proven to work (and vibrate) off of compressed air, I’m seeking a more powerful boiler than my pressure cooker so I can actually run it off of steam so please let me know if you know of one.
this is prototype so its got some quirks, the engine isn’t quite as optimised as I would like (it takes way more pressure than it should to get it working) and the offset weight I need to machine some more.
it weighs about a pound (5/5: measured it and its close to 2.5lbs exactly) and is pretty damned smooth to the touch. when I tried to run it off of steam earlier though it got REALLY hot, you have to wear like welding gloves to hold it and even then its almost too hot to handle. another reason I’m using compressed air for the moment.
She says she’s going to “bend it” into a g-spot vibrator next time she’s at the shop.
I think it’s awesome. Although, I do wonder how you make welding gloves fit you on the … never mind.
I just spent an hour on the phone with Marty Moss-Coane on WHYY/NPR in Philadelphia, talking about sex and tech and online relationships, and wow does the time fly. Anyone who wants to continue the conversation (especially if you asked me for feedback on your dating profile, 45 seconds before the break), email me: ginalynn@gmail.com.
I think the show might be posted here eventually, as there is a search form to look up guests or show dates:
… and I can’t find it anywhere online. Perhaps I shall scan it in from the hardcopy magazine.
It’s a feature about having great sex at any age (although it starts with the 20s and ends with the 50s “and beyond”). The cute thing is that they gave Dr. Ruth and me a mini-bio at the end, with our photos, and we have very similar glasses and smiles.
I showed it to my grandpa, who is 94, saying “Look, Grandpa, they picked me to be the other source, right next to Dr. Ruth!” And he said that he had “heard of her.” And then: “I wish you would do something I could brag about.” Even he realized how that sounded — and yes, he is proud of me, that’s not what he meant — so he rushed to explain. “I can’t really tell my tablemates [at the retirement village] about my sex granddaughter.”
Why not? Dr. Ruth is 81 if she’s had her birthday this year. If she can be respectable and sexy at the same time, why can’t I?
I can’t go this year but it’s not too late to register and attend Sex 2.0 in the Washington, D.C. area on May 9. These folks are friends of mine and many colleagues I respect are trekking there to discuss, meet, talk, and play.
All the info at sex20con.com, with a nice summary in this press release (I know, it’s lazy of me, but I’m on deadline for an article about the history of vibrators):
WASHINGTON, D.C. - April 27, 2009. Now in our second year, Sex 2.0, a one-day unconference, will take place on May 9, 2009 in Washington, D.C. Sex 2.0 will focus on the intersection of social media, feminism, and sexuality. How is social media enabling people to learn, grow, and connect sexually? How is sexual expression tied to social activism? Does the concept of transparency online offer new opportunities or present new roadblocks — or both? Sex 2.0 is an unconference, which means that sessions will be informal conversations organized by people attending the event. Session leaders with some knowledge in a subject area facilitate conversations among the participants.
Sessions will include: “Internet Advocacy for Sexual Freedom” with Ricci Joy Levy of the Woodhull Foundation; “Polyamory in Media’s Spotlight” with Anita Wagner; “Craigslist Red, Craigslist Blue: Why we should dismantle the “internet red light district” with Melissa Gira Grant and Joanne McNeill; “Kick Ass Twitter Apps” with Cunning Minx; “Revenge Porn” with Maria Diaz; and “Sex Writing Beyond Erotica, Beyond Porn” with Jack Murnighan, Nerve.com editor-at-large. The keynote speaker will be Nikol Hasler, creator of the Midwest Teen Sex Show (http://midwestteensexshow.com). A complete list of sessions may be viewed at: http://sex20con.com/2009-schedule/sessions/
Sex 2.0 will be held in a Washington, D.C. hotel. (To ensure everyone’s privacy, location information will be email once you are registered). It will offer five conference rooms, a lounge (with free WiFi), vendor area as well as space for various sex-positive outreach groups to set up informational displays and tables.
The event is managed by volunteers and funded by sponsors. We are pleased to have SEXTOY.com as our presenting sponsor this year. SEXTOY.com has been focusing on building a relationship within the blogger community with the recent start-up of its sex toy reviewer program. SEXTOY.com is honored to be the official sponsor for Sex 2.0 and looks forward to a mutually rewarding relationship with the blogger Community. Two SEXTOY.com associates will be attending Sex 2.0 this year: Erik Van Riper and Domina Doll; who both look forward to meeting everyone, attending the talks and participating in discussions. Sex 2.0 is also pleased to have community sponsor Bound Not Gagged (www.boundnotgagged.com), hospitality sponsor Kimberleecline.com and technology sponsor PosAlt.com supporting this years conference.
While the event itself is on Saturday, May 9, there are participant-organized meetups, outings, and parties being planned for Friday night and Saturday evening, as well as a Sunday brunch. For more information, visit the Sex 2.0 website at www.sex20con.com or follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/sex20con.
What will you do if you didn’t pack enough novels, playing cards, and board games in your earthquake-or-other-disaster survival kit? Love Honey has a suggestion…
Earth Angel Wind-Up Vibrator
Why? Because the new vibe from Irish company Caden Enterprises is the world’s first 100% green sex toy. It’s made from totally recycled material and it never needs replacement batteries because its power comes from a patented rechargeable cell.
To get the vibe to work, you have to wind it up using a handle in the base. It’s like cranking up one of those Freeplay Radios, only with much more pleasurable results…
Crank the handle in a clockwise direction for 4 minutes and you’ll earn yourself 30 minutes of vibrations. If that’s more than you need in a single orgasmic session, you can use the on/off button to store up the power for later.
Wind it for 8 minutes and you’ll get an hour of vibrations, which is a good job because your arm won’t be good for much else after you’ve been winding like a mentalist for that long.
One caveat: If you’ve ever tried to use Undo or Send Later or any other feature to help you send to the right person, you already know that it does not take long to get so used to the confirmation dialog that you end up clicking it by habit, thus preventing it from preventing you from doing something stupid.
