Reading along through the first part of this article, you get the idea that it was translated from Japanese. Then you read the midpoint and you think … uh-oh, does the translator know how these particular words and phrases impact Americans?

It’s a story about sexual services for middle-aged Japanese men trying to get fit, now that the government requires regular tests of fat percentage and blood pressure. And it shifts from informal news reporting:

The middle-aged spread, reports Asahi Geino (4/24), has given rise to a completely new type of sex business: the “Datsu-metabo fuuzoku” — sex shops with services designed to help pudgy, middle-aged men bang their way back to health and enjoy themselves in the bargain

to this:

As he issues pathetic moans, she cajoles his vas deferens into discharging a jet of jism that jumps past his pectorals and reaches all the way to his chin.

It’s hilarious. Read the whole gem here:

New sex services hold out a healthy helping hand to halt those mean metabolic blues