I like what Cory Silverberg said yesterday:
Am I Normal?
n the years that I’ve made talking about sex my job, I’ve been asked this question in a hundred thousand variations. Working at a sex store, a common opening line from customers would be “you must see a lot of weirdos working in a place like this” (read: do you think I’m a weirdo for being here?). In social settings, when people find out what I do for a living they’re always eager to hear about the sexual oddities and strangeness they assume I encounter on a daily basis (read: tell me about the real freaks, so I can feel normal with my mild fetish for macaroni).Often when people are in front of me, asking if they are normal, they’re in very real pain. And while my short answer is always, yes, you’re normal, everything is normal and nothing is normal, I know this doesn’t satisfy them the way I want to.
I’ve always wanted to make love in a huge tub of warm macaroni and cheese, too.
10 responses so far ↓
1 oliver // Sep 19, 2007 at 11:20 pm
I thinks that’d be a little messy for my tastes. Also seems like a waste of macaroni and cheese… i mean there’s no way you could eat that much
Maybe an orgy? but that’s not my thing, so i’d either have to make a whole lot of macaroni and cheese i wouldn’t get to enjoy at all, or have to throw old crusty macaroni out, which would be sad
2 Nobilis // Sep 20, 2007 at 4:08 am
Macaroni? That’s normal.
The cheese, though…
3 Peregrine // Sep 20, 2007 at 4:56 am
The origional post was about people feeling normal with their off-the-wall fetishes, but I have a feeling we’re all going to go on joking about Macaroni fetishes instead.
Now, you might think that I’m pointing this out to try to steer the conversation back on track. But you’d be dreaming. There’s no way I’m that mature.
Jell-o I can imagine. Pudding, maybe. But I don’t think Macaroni is my thing.
4 cyberkyst // Sep 20, 2007 at 9:18 am
I think — sorry, trying to get back on track — that our mainstream society has spent so much time defining what should be considered normal that people who have wandered off that little path feel guilty that they are…happy. I mean, how could they possibly be comfortable in their own skin, when the world is telling them that they’re wrong?
It’s, of course, a bunch of bullshit. And something I am happily having a hand in unravelling. I can’t tell you how many people have felt better about their so-called strange sexual flavors after talking to me. Not because my tastes run a little hotter than theirs, but because there’s not judgement of their preferences. It’s nice to know we’re not alone. And that vanilla, while a perfectly acceptable flavor, isn’t the only one out there being served.
Ooh, whipped creams and cherries with hot fudge topping!!
5 regina lynn // Sep 20, 2007 at 9:51 am
Like the “cheese” they put in macaroni & cheese is actually cheese….
6 oliver // Sep 20, 2007 at 11:05 am
Regina: “they” put? I was talking about making it myself — with real cheese, that’s what made wasting it so terrible
I’m digging Peregrine’s Jello idea though
7 regina lynn // Sep 20, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Oliver, I know, but real cheese isn’t as slick as the pretend stuff. I think Kraft classic orange mac & cheese might even have “lube” as one of its ingredients.
8 oliver // Sep 20, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Hehehe, maybe if we were to use one of the soft white cheeses? like brie or camembert? Would be odd macaroni and cheese, but it would be real cheese
9 Nobilis // Sep 20, 2007 at 3:42 pm
One of the primary philosophical tenets of The Freak Network (www.thefreaknetwork.com) is that everyone is a freak.
10 Prurient // Sep 22, 2007 at 8:24 am
A note on the “cheese mix” being slicker than real cheese. I think it is the butter and milk that is adding the slick factor to it… so buttered macaroni with some warm milk should do the trick. Plus butter will stay slick at body temperature…. Not that I would use it as a lube… Just saying.