Researchers have found the world’s oldest known leather shoe in Armenia. It is about 5,500 years old.

Yet the world’s oldest known dildo is approximately 20 to 30 thousand years old and discovered in German or Sweden.

Ancient dildo found in Germany (~ 25,000 years old)

Ancient dildo found in Sweden (~ 28,000 years old)

I suppose it just means that stone and wood preserve better than leather. But I’d like to think that sexual pleasure was even more important than shoes.

I’d like to think that it still is, but I don’t have time to write about it because I have to get my boots on and head up to the barn to give the pony his medicine.

[Author's note: I cannot find any evidence supporting the claim that a 106,000-year-old phallus was found in Iceland. I suspect it's a hoax. If you have a journal article or citation that dehoaxifies the story, please let me know!]