Comments on: I never think about dildos

By: woodstockdc

woodstockdc — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 19:55:41 +0000

Dildos don’t seem to rate the designator “toy” to me: they’re just dumb in the simplest definition of the term. I confess that when I think of “toys” I tend to think of any toy, moving or not.

And yes, we do that at my house too only it’s “We volunteered to make the coffee cake for brunch tomorrow, didn’t we?”

By: psyche.etoile

psyche.etoile — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 17:51:28 +0000

Collectively, i call them “toys” with a suggestively raised eyebrow otherwise, I refer to pretty much everything by a “given” name. The eroscillator is named Voltron (plugs in the wall). The rocket is named Ruth (after Ruth Buzzie the comedienne) There’s a dildo named Big Ben (purchased after trip to London), and finally, Grimace (he’s purple)

The only reason those are named is because those are the ones that I use with my partner, and so i ask for them by name. The other things i use don’t have names, because I play with them by myself.

We have LOTS of euphemisms for sexual things. “French Toast” means having sex. “I got you a present” means I shaved my bits. “ooh, hey, remind me I have to call Ruth when i get home” means this party’s boring let’s go home and fu�k.

Does everyone do this?

By: MarygraceNYC

MarygraceNYC — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 14:15:20 +0000

Dildo to me is something that looks like a cock whether it vibrates or not, is purple, pink, blue, made of glass or whatever. Toys or sex toys are anything having to do with sex.

By: pyrite

pyrite — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 23:18:59 +0000

I think of the term “Dildo” as totally unimaginative and would apply it to anyone of either gender who stands around with their thumb in one orifice or another without much creativity demonstrated in any form.

Now a sex toy is anything that requires creative application to assist with the application of imagination.

By: Calichef

Calichef — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 20:03:00 +0000

OMG, I’m actually FEmale, not famale. Sheesh! Sorry.

By: Calichef

Calichef — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 19:57:32 +0000

I’m famale. I tend to use the word “vibrator” when I want a generic term. I use it because I’m very interested in words– that is, how they sound, how they feel in the mouth when spoken and even how they look as a form or shape. The word “vibrator” flows, it rolls off the tongue in a much more fluid, elegant way than the comparitively awkward, if not outright ugly, word “dildo.”

Not only that, but dildoes have a bit of a negative connotation (to me) and vibrators do not. Dildoes reek of desperation, vibrators signify pleasure.

Of course, it could be the era in which I grew up. It was common when I was in high school for boorish kids to call geeky kids “dildo.” Thankfully, this was reserved for geeky boys. I would have been mortified to have been called a dildo.

By: Xylitol

Xylitol — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:20:09 +0000

I am a guy and usually use “Vibrator”. I have no idea why and it’s pretty much just as inaccurate. In “less polite” company (i.e. among people who don’t blush and shut up if you use normal adult language) I usually say “sex toy” or “toy” if the context is obvious.

Guys using the term “Dildo” might be a leftover from days gone by when it was really the primary toy used by guys on themselves. It still might be for all I know I suppose, but when that was roughly the size of the toy market for guys not intending to use them on or with a woman. Obviously a vibrator can be used in the same sense, but with much less “added value” then for a woman. Could also be a leftover of the old thinking that penetration is the primary way women get off rather then more of an optional extra as the case seems to be in an awful lot of cases. If that would have been the case, a dildo would be the base sex toy and though I think most guys (at least those I see around) have understood that’s not how it is, perhaps word use lingers.

By: Peregrine

Peregrine — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:39:32 +0000

Dildo is a town in Newfoundland. Not to be confused with Shag Harbour, which is actually in Nova Scotia.

Seriously, though, as a generic term, we might be ’stuck’ with it, being one of the simplest and probably earliest sex toys.

Also, while I’m sure there are plenty of men who use sex toys, the majority of men are more likely to get buy with manual stimulation the majority of the time. That’s how we learned to do it, and probably many men just sort of stick with what works, and either don’t want, or never bothered to explore beyond that.

Maybe that’s a societal thing, or a social stigma, or just whatever happens to be available at the time, or some combination of all of these factors. But the idea of a “sex toy” has become something of a “woman’s thing” in the collective unconscious of the general public. Therefore, the generic catch-all becomes whatever’s available for her, while the accessories available for him are just fringe luxuries.

I could go on. I’ve got enough opinions to go around. But I should leave some for everyone else.

By: oliver

oliver — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 03:14:33 +0000

I don’t think of sex toys as dildo’s — i never really like the word, although i’m not sure why — i tend to use vibrator to mean generic toy, even for non-vibrating toys

Curiously i realise the there are plenty of *names* for toys i’m not comfortable with, even though i am comfortable with, or even enjoy said toys — for example i dislike “butt plug” as a name, as it seems too crass, or to a lesser extent “strap on”, for a similar reason…

By: hitch

hitch — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 02:15:31 +0000

as a man I have this to say: I think of the *word* “dildo” when I think “generic sex toy”, but when it actually comes to thinking about *actual* toys my first thought is probably going to be a vibrator or moving toy. That said, for people who are fairly new to the world of sex toys, there’s a very fine distinction between the two.